Tonight Quality New Music took a trip to the movies (friend of a girlfriend had a free ticket to Transformers that mysteriously turned into a free ticket to Year One upon arrival, which admittedly isn't that much of an excuse, but one would figure an hour and a half of free explosions can't possibly be that bad) Entering the theater I really did hope that the movie would be a pleasant little gem in the summer blockbuster lineup. I mean Micheal Cera and David Cross, those guys where once in a good show together. Jack Black has made me laugh a few times and hey, he's sort of a rock comedy icon at this point. Even the premise is sort of solid, a few guys unwittingly experience biblical events and not without quirky little twists, maybe this will turn out to be a pleasant throwback to Monty Python's Life of Brian.Upon leaving the theater, not only had my hopes of Year One being an "okay" movie sadly dissipated, they had been crucified, ripped from the calm and peaceful place hidden in the deepest most sacred and unspoiled parts of my mind and cast into the public to be brutally beaten and tortured until inevitably they were given the mercy of death. Something I so dearly wish would one day happen to the "comedic style" shared by Year One and its counterparts.
I'm not really going to pretend that this post is a review, mainly because I won't pretend that Year One qualifies as a proper piece of cinema, instead I will consider the following a rant and will start said rant with insulting all of those who enjoyed the movie in the audience. You people are idiots. To some extent it is actually you're fault this movie ended up as such a steaming pile of shit. I'm sure somewhere in Los Angeles there was a script writer who started out striving to make a some what intelligent parody of biblical events, but two minutes into brainstorming for the "movie" he too realized most people, being the idiots that people are, wouldn't actually recognize the events (Cain and Able, Abraham, Sodom and Gomorrah, etc) thus wouldn't appreciate any actual attempt at a decent joke and would make a lot more money by filling the damn thing with fart jokes and Micheal Cera. Another interesting realization i made occurred during one scene where Abraham first introduced the idea of circumcision, which was boiled down to "cutting off the tip of your dick". The audience was grossed out and had a great laugh at how ridiculous this whole circumcision business was as Jack Black uncomfortably snuck his way out of the whole ordeal with his member and the its tip. "OMG who would want to cut off the tip of their dick, that's so gross" I'm sure the woman with an oddly pronounced cackle as well as the few teen boys a few rows back surely must have been thinking. Someday they may realize that they too probably "had the tips of their dicks cut off" and they are idiots for ever paying to see the movie (and hopefully go kill themselves). The former statements perfectly exemplify the essential humor behind the movie. If you say Dick and use your "one fuck per PG-13 movie" correctly, people will for some reason laugh. Not that the idea, or even the joke itself was funny, but who would ever expect them to actually say Dick? A twelve year old could have written this movie after attending an afternoon at bible camp only to be driven home by Daddy and his colorful rush hour frustrated language.
To be honest though, all of the above I pretty much expected from Jack Black and especially Micheal Cera being such mainstream actors, but David Cross? Really? The man appearing in a movie that is targeted towards the very general public he so often berates? I guess it has happened before though, He has made appearances in She's the Man and Alvin and the Chipmunks. The only thing I can gather is that he does them for the money, indie comedians must eat too. It's also safe to assume he is deaply ashamed by this fact when you consider he is essentially unrecognizable behind is wig and beard that only his voice will out him from the second rate comedy closet.
The night, however, was not a total bust. My girlfriend did tell me after leaving the theater that she didn't find the movie very funny. That must be worth something.
